Designer shadows the “next big thing”

Early models were operational for only a week or so before fading. Now, with improved technology, they last almost indefinitely.

Most people order their individualized creations in shadow salons. Artists design and implant a chip that emits a small electrical charge. This upsets the electrical force field around you in a way that distorts and redirects photons, creating specially designed shadows. But be sure of your choice, as surgery is needed to restore your original shadow.

A prominent mathematician wanted a shadow in the shape of the number 7.

These two short guys wanted verrry tall shadows.

 

tall-shadows

 

Many photographers opt for no ground image at all, to avoid having their shadow ruin shots they take when the sun is behind them.

Other popular choices:

A chess board of black (shadow) and white (no shadow) squares.

Corporate logos, just like those that many people wear on their clothing. Some companies are requiring their employees to have such shadows installed.

A giraffe silhouette.

Rocco wanted a blockhead design – yes, a square head.

Skinny guys beef up their profile with the popular “linebacker” look.

Some women ask for breast-enhanced shadows

Many sports fans pick shapes that emulate their team’s mascot

This gent opted for a more rounded look – round head, round shoulders. He likes the somewhat menacing look of the large, dark blob.

 

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

For those who can’t decide on the most suitable look for them, shadow consultants are available to help.

Nabob Clusterbuck told his consultant, “I am a small man, but I leave big-man footprints because of my high income as an investment banker.”

She suggested that he might be very happy with the tycoon pattern, described in the brochure as “a shadow that leaves large tracks.”

Even the Defense Department is interested in the new technology. The military has ordered thousands of model “Camo Three,” which comes in a mottled design and provides excellent camouflage. It was a plum contract for InvisiShadow Inc.

In spite of the huge success of the custom-shadow industry, more research is needed for it to reach its full potential. Much light remains to be shed on the visual phenomena created by the blocking of sunlight. Scientists and entrepreneurs are conducting research along several lines and may soon have new successes to report. Leaks from one laboratory hint that in the works are colored shadows, with a light-blue model likely the first to be introduced.

Pulsating designs are another possibility, to enliven that afternoon walk.

So waste no time. Get out in the sun and show people what your shadow’s made of.

 

 

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