Alphabet Zoup

Aged ants are antiques
Bruised bananas are banal
Cute cats are captivating
Dancing dogs drink Darjeeling
Evil elves use eardrops
Fresh flowers are fragrant
Gooey gunk is gross
Her highness is hiding
Indignant inquisitors are insidious
Jilted janitors are jealous
Kitschy kings are klutzes
Lavish luaus are laughable
Mellow Malcolm is meditating
Nihilistic Neil is negative
Oppressed opossums aren’t optimistic
Philosophical Priscilla is paradoxical
Quirky quail are quaint
Robust rhinoceroses are rambunctious
Silly squid are sentimental
Tremulous titmice are timid
Unwieldy umbrellas are useless
Voracious vampires are vicious
Weeping welders are wedded
Xylophonist Xena is Xenophobic
Yiddish yarmulkes are yellow
Zealous zebras are zany


These are cute and captivating cats, and fit well into an alphabet’s worth of nonsense. Cover from “A Cat Alphabet,” a picture book for little folk. By Dodge Publishing, circa 1910s. Illustrations by Louis Wain, who made a specialty of drawing large-eyed cats and kittens.

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